


The Waiting Is the Worst Part

by sweaterbarnes



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Domestic, Angst, Discussion of mpreg, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Mates, Mpreg, No Avengers, Omega Steve Rogers, Trying For A Baby, supportive!Natasha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-06
Updated: 2015-03-06
Packaged: 2018-03-15 07:07:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3438128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweaterbarnes/pseuds/sweaterbarnes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three minutes. It's only three minutes. Three minutes before his life would potentially change forever. Three minutes before he would find out if all their efforts had been for naught and they would have to wait another month...Why the hell did three minutes seem like a year?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Waiting Is the Worst Part

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LavenderProse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LavenderProse/gifts).



> Written for LavenderProse who wanted Steve and Bucky trying for a baby and all the emotions that come with it. I'm fairly certain I deviated from the prompt a little bit but I hope you like it!

~~~~~~

Three minutes. It's only three minutes. Three minutes before his life would potentially change forever. Three minutes before he would find out if all their efforts had been for naught and they would have to wait another month...Why the hell did three minutes seem like a year? 

Steve paced back and forth in the small bathroom, chewing on his thumb and glancing down at the small stick sitting on the counter approximately every three seconds. He shook his hands out and linked his fingers together behind his head, stretching in place and hopping slightly as he waited. After what seemed like an eternity his phone chimed, signaling the end of the longest wait of his life. He stopped pacing and stared down at the stick, suddenly more nervous than ever. With shaking hands he gingerly picked up the test. He slowly turned it over and almost choked on a sob at what he saw. Negative. It was negative. Steve threw the test into the trashcan and slid down the wall to sit on the floor, knees pulled to his chest and fingers picking at the hem of his jeans. He was glad Bucky was at work, maybe then he wouldn't have to find out about the negative test. This was the third negative in as many months and Steve was close to giving up hope. Maybe it just wasn't going to happen, maybe he couldn't do it. Maybe Steve just couldn't be the omega Bucky needed, if he couldn't give him a baby what could he give him? His train of thought was interrupted by the front door opening.

"Steve? You home?" Bucky called, Steve could hear the rustling of grocery bags. He quickly wiped his eyes and checked his face in the mirror. At least his eyes weren't red, maybe Bucky wouldn't be able to tell that anything was wrong. He covered the test with other trash so Bucky wouldn't see it, straightened his clothes, and slipped out of the bathroom.

"Hey Buck, what'd you get from the store?" Steve asked, kissing Bucky's cheek and opening the fridge to grab a soda.

"Just what was on the list...are you okay?" Bucky asked, putting the last bag down and giving Steve a concerned look. Steve froze in the middle of grabbing a soda, his heart beating a little faster. No, he won't tell Bucky, he'd be devastated. Slowly, he pulled out his soda and straightened up, plastering a smile on his face and turning to face his mate.

"Yeah, I'm fine, why?" he asked, taking a sip of soda and avoiding looking Buck in the eyes.

"...You just seem off," Bucky said, shrugging slightly and putting the cereal into the cabinet behind him. Steve gave a quiet sigh of relief and relaxed a little, it looked like Bucky wouldn't press the matter.

~~~~~~

Natasha plopped down on the seat next to Steve, putting her chin on her hand and looking at him curiously. Steve curled over his lemonade a little more, trying to avoid her searching gaze. 

"What?" Steve asked after a long moment, shifting uncomfortably.

"You look upset, what's the matter?" Natasha asked.

"Nothing's wrong, Nat, I just..haven't slept well in a while and it must be catching up with me," he said, looking away and chugging his lemonade in an effort to avoid conversation.

"Steve," she said warningly. "I know you, I know when something's wrong. Please don't lie to me, I'm not an idiot." He sighed and pushed his drink to the side, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Natasha, plea-"

"No, Steve. I'm not leaving until you tell me," she said softly, turning to face him and crossing her legs, hands folded neatly in her lap as she waited. Steve glared at her but when he realized she wasn't going to go away he nodded, clutching the material of his jeans to calm his breathing.

"You know how Bucky and I have been trying for a baby?" Steve's voice caught slightly on the word "baby" but he quickly covered it with a little cough, hoping Natasha didn't notice. "Well, it's been three months and nothing. I've taken a test after every heat, when I'm supposed to, and nothing! I know I'm doing the tests right and I know Bucky's healthy so the problem has to be me! I can't do the one thing an omega should be able to to do, I'm the problem." There were tears in his eyes by the time he was done and Natasha was holding both of his hands tightly.

"Steve you're not the problem, almost no omega gets pregnant the first couple of heats right after they come off birth control. Hell, it took me and Clint five tries to get Lex," she said, scooting closer and rubbing his arm comfortingly. Steve sniffed and rubbed his eyes on his sleeves.

"But Bucky wants this so badly and what if I can't give it to him? What if he won't love me anymore?" Steve asked, voice almost a whisper. He feared if he spoke any louder he wold start crying again.

"Oh, Steve, no," Natasha cooed, pulling him into a hug, letting him hide his face in the soft fabric of her hoodie. "Of course he'll still love you, he's your mate. Nothing is going to change that. Besides, if he left because of this I'd kick his ass don't worry." Steve laughed, voice wateryand hugged her a little tighter.

"Steve?" Bucky called from somewhere downstairs, he was probably in the living room playing mario kart with Clint. Steve tensed but relaxed when Natasha stroked his hair reassuringly. He pulled away reluctantly and scrubbed at his eyes furiously, eradicating all evidence of his tears before joining them downstairs.

"There you are, Clint says he and Nat need to go pick up Lex from her friend's house so they should get going," Bucky said from his place by the TV as he was putting away the controllers, casting glares over his shoulder at Clint every now and then. His glares intensified when Clint started snickering as he gathered his things. Steve looked at Bucky questioningly and he sighed and explained, arms crossed and still glaring. "Clint beat me." Clint started laughing and Bucky exclaimed, "You beat me by _one_ place, dude, one place! And you totally cheated!" Clint just shook his head, patted Bucky on the shoulder, and walked out the door, leaving Bucky fuming in the living room.

"Buck it's just a video ga-"

"No! Mario Kart is _war_ ," Bucky growled, stalking into the kitchen and chucking their beer bottles into the recycle bin. Steve chuckled lightly and hugged Natasha goodbye.

"Thank you for talking with me," he whispered into her ear, pressing a kiss to her hair.

She nodded and nudged him towards the kitchen mouthing, "Talk to him," and closed the door behind her. Steve sighed shakily and nodded to himself as he walked slowly into the kitchen. Bucky was still grumbling to himself as he nursed his beer.

"Did you have fun with Clint?" Steve asked, forcing himself to sound easygoing. Bucky nodded and came up behind Steve, pressing a kiss to his neck. 

"Yeah, you have fun with Nat?" 

"Mhm, do you want soup or pasta for dinner?" he asked, gently pushing Bucky off him and moving to the pantry.

"Pasta. Hey, I'm gonna go to the store, we're almost out of beer and Clint said he might come back over tomorrow so I might as well stock up now," Bucky said, kissing Steve's cheek and grabbing his jacket, slipping it on prosthetic first. Steve almost melted with relief when he heard the front door slam shut. He wouldn't have to tell Bucky, he could avoid it for another night. He could avoid the disappointment he knew he would see on Bucky's face, the regret. 

~~~~~~

After he finished the pasta and put it on a low heat so it would stay warm, he escaped to the bathroom. He pulled out the box of pregnancy tests he kept under the counter and stared at it, contemplating whether or not to take another one, just to make sure. Honestly, just one test can't be completely accurate, right? He was about to give in and take one out when he heard the distant sound of the front door opening and closing.

"Steve, baby, come here a minute I got you something," Bucky called. Steve hurriedly threw the box under the counter and padded down the stairs, looking at Bucky curiously when he saw that the alpha was clutching something behind his back and grinning.

"Bucky what is-," Steve was interrupted by Bucky pulling a cake out from behind his back and presenting it to Steve, a huge cheesy grin on his face and one hand thrown dramatically to the side, metal fingers wiggling in anticipation. Steve smiled broadly and took the cake, carefully putting it on the counter before pulling Bucky into a hug. "Thank you, I love it, but why? It's not a special occasion," he said curiously, pulling back a little so he could see his mate's face. Bucky frowned slightly, running his fingers down the back of Steve's neck.

"Can't I just celebrate having you as my mate without any ulterior motives?" Steve gave him a stern look, making Bucky sigh and lower his head before touching his forehead to Steve's and pulling them both down to sit at the kitchen table. "Okay fine, I've noticed you've been acting off and I can't stand seeing you like that so I thought maybe this would cheer you up." He looked up at Steve, gaze hopeful but uncertain. His face fell when he saw the tears in Steve's eyes and he whimpered a little, pulling his omega to his chest and pressing a soft kiss to his temple. "Baby what's wrong?"

Steve buried his face in Bucky's jacket for a long moment before mumbling, "It was negative."

"The pregnancy test?" Steve nodded and pulled away, eyes downcast so he wouldn't see the conformation of his failure in Bucky's eyes, the guaranteed disappointment. Bucky crooked a finger under Steve's chin and gently tilted his face up so he could see Steve's eyes. He frowned again when he saw the tears in his mate's eyes and stroked his cheek. "Baby it's just one pregnancy test, we'll just have to try again next month when your heat hits again," he said soothingly, not understanding why Steve was upset.

"No, Buck, it's not just one pregnancy test. This is the third month I've fail-the test hasn't been positive. What if it never happens? What if I can't give you a baby?" Steve exclaimed, hands shaking they were clenched so tightly. Bucky's eyes widened then softened, mouth curved in a sad line at Steve's words.

"You know I'll still love you even if we don't end up having a baby right?" he asked, taking Steve's hands into his own and squeezing them reassuringly. "Besides, even if we can't conceive on our own there are fertility treatments and we can always adopt-," he paused as Steve's words really registered. "Steve...do you think it's your fault that it hasn't happened yet? That you're to blame?" Steve flinched at the words and Bucky almost started crying himself. He pulled Steve into a hug and stroked his hair, ignoring the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. "It's not your fault, you are not the problem. Just because it hasn't worked yet doesn't mean it never will and I promise I'll love you no matter what," he said, hugging Steve a little harder and letting him cry on his shoulder. After Steve's tears had slowed Bucky gently pulled him up and guided him to the bedroom. He pulled back the blankets and laid down, curling around Steve when he joined him, wrapping an arm around his waist and nuzzling the nape of his neck. They drifted off to sleep, entwined and content, cake forgotten on the kitchen counter.

~~~~~~

Steve's heat came early, taking them both by surprise. It lasted longer than his last few which concerned Steve but Natasha told him sometimes heats do that, no need to worry. Bucky had already stocked the fridge with water and fruit so he didn't need to make an emergency run to the store which meant all his focus was on Steve and his heat. That week was the best heat Steve had ever had, Bucky was even more intense, more caring, and more gentle than he had ever been.  

Steve woke up the morning after his heat sated and satisfied. Bucky was snoring lightly by his side, metal fingers entertwined with Steve's. Their legs were tangled together under the blankets and Bucky's hair was just as adorably ruffled as always and Steve smiled when Bucky scrunched up his nose and shifted closer to his mate. 

"Good morning," Steve murmured, reaching over and stroking Bucky's cheekbone with his thumb. Bucky smiled and, eyes still closed, pressed a kiss to Steve's shoulder and mumbled a good morning back.

"...Do you think it worked?" Steve whispered, trying to keep the hope out of his voice but failing miserably. Bucky shrugged slightly and rolled over, rubbing a hand over his eyes, trying to clear them of sleep. 

"I dunno, guess we'll find out in a few days, you know we won't be able to check until then." Steve sighed and nodded, turning and wrapping around Bucky like an octopus. They could worry about this later, cuddling was more important at the moment.

~~~~~~

Steve paced the length of the bedroom, feeling jittery and nervous. Bucky was sitting cross-legged on the bed, his face was calm but Steve knew he was just as nervous. Bucky had insisted on being there with him when he took the test this time. He wanted to be with Steve for support in case it was negative. Steve's phone chimed and he stopped pacing, he stopped at the door to the bathroom then stared at Bucky whose calm facade was slipping with every passing second. After a long pause Steve disappeared into the bathroom. He grabbed the test and turned it over, not wanting to waste any more time than he already had. He almost dropped it when he saw the bright pink plus sign on the display.

"Bucky!" Steve yelled excitedly, running back into the bedroom and shoving the test in his mate's face. Bucky's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open in shock. He grabbed the test and double-checked that he had really seen what he thought he had. He looked to Steve, grinning when Steve nodded breathlessly and pulling him into a hug. Tangled together on top of the sheets they stared at the test.

"Steve you did it, it's happening," Bucky whispered, kissing him gently. Steve smiled into the kiss but pulled away slightly, ignoring Bucky's whine of complaint.

"We both did it, Buck. It takes two."

"Shut up and take the credit for once," Bucky grunted, leaning in for another kiss. Steve stopped him with one hand and held up the test with another.

"Do you really want to make out next to something I peed on?" Bucky grimaced and moved away quickly, letting Steve go to the bathroom to throw it away. He watched his laughing mate go and grinned, this was going to be an adventure.

~~~~~~

 

 


End file.
